Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
