you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
