Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
