Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
