I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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