she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize