Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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