if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
