when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
