I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
