FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
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There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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