Can i not drive my cunt home
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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