is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are