I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.