in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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