You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
