Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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