There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
