where am i from again
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
