Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
