dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
