I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
