We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
