i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
