btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
