he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
