I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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