Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
