Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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