Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize