It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
