I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
