plz talk dirty to me
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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