I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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