Dual....:-)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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