Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I could fuck to npr.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
