I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I met the friendliest cop last night
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
