I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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