He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he was CRYING into my vagina
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
