Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I think my moral compass just broke
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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