hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
