I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
