When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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