apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I don't think brook has ever known best
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
