You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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