if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
