Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The uberlube is also flammable
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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