her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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