Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I forget how to act sober
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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