If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
where am i from again
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
