oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Congratulations! We have a period
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