just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
