Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
