You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
As shirtless as possible
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
