the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
This baby is an asshole
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
