I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
