If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
