Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
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Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
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He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So vagazzling was a success
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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