life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i think i have herpe
just one?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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