ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
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I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
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Rumble strips road head = magical
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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