well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize