we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
that may or may not have been my penis.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
