so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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