Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
